*Originally published on September 24, 2009
Here’s the thing, I’m not a fan. At all. I don’t care who they are or how much I love them. I’m not a fan of kids at weddings – ceremony and/or receptions. Not to be misunderstood. I ADORE children, just not at weddings.
So, I’m sure you can imagine my reaction when I saw this picture on LUCKYME earlier this week. I literally chuckled out loud!
Sooooo, are you a kids-at-weddings kind of person or are you like me, no-kids-please?
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Just wanted to pop in and say I am loving your blog! I just got engaged a week ago (!!!) so it’s so fun to follow along through this experience with you!!!
As for children at weddings, I’m of like mind. Not a fan. We have pinned down precisely zero details of our celebration at this point (too busy admiring the ring!), but already the rumblings from the parents suggest that we’ll have to include children. I’m hoping to limit it in some way to the children I actually know, as opposed to including all of my spawn of my older cousins who I’ve met just once or twice. But the kids thing might have to be one of those bargaining chips I let go so I can have my way in other areas!!
I agree. Kids at weddings can be a drag. Though there are probably certain kids I would want to include at my wedding – and I would specifically invite them. (BFF’s kids whom I adore etc). Other non solicited children would not be cool though.
Adorable sign!
The Waspy Redhead´s last blog ..Pork…By Popular Demand
I’m so glad you shared this! I am having an issue with my family because I announced no children would be invited to my wedding…I love my neice, but I don’t think it’s the right setting for an 18-month old. Not to mention I want my brother and his wife to enjoy themselves for the evening! Needless to say, it’s caused some tension. So sad!
Anyways, glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m not giving in either!
Mel´s last blog ..Baring it All
I think each situation has to be treated differently and there is no across the board blanket answer for that question. If there are no children in your family (ie. nieces/nephews) it should be ok to say no children. However, when your brother gets married and you fly 6 family members across the country and the new (but now ex) wife says she does not want children at the wedding and you have to hire a baby sitter to watch 3 of your children so you can go to your brother’s wedding it tends to not sit well. I was worried about them most of the evening and would have much rather been the decision maker as to whether or not I’d have a better time with or without them there… I seriously feel that people get all wrapped up in the thought of a wedding and forget about the marriage. Afterall, the bride and groom, in addition to creating their own, are joining each other’s families… If that includes children(and I mean siblings children, not extended family members) I think the celebration should include those children. My own personal opinions, of course…
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I am not a huge fan of kids at weddings. And it is a minefield of a topic.
However, as I was not right out of college when I married many of my out-of-town friends and family have kids and it made it impossible to exclude them from the wedding when they were traveling from out of town (and spending $$).
I had a pre-wedding event at the minor league baseball game which was for everyone to get to know eachother and was great for the kids. We had 60 of our friends and family from out of town on a party deck with beer, wine, hot dogs and hamburgers.
We did have some kids (about 6) at the rehearsal dinner (which was at a fabulous Thai restaurant and food was not an issue with the kids surprisingly), but I had little gifts for them and they were all very well behaved.
I hired some babysitters and set up a room for kids at the reception. I had gift bags with age appropirate toys (and costumes–as a batman costume was the bribe for my nephew to be the ring bearer–and I have great pictures with kids in cute costumes and me in my wedding dress). I also had arts and crafts and movies. I ordered them pizzas (since they could care less about filet or salmon). The kids ages ranged from 9 months to 8 years old.
All in all, it was a huge success that other couples have copied to help eliminate the tension and drama that goes with “kids coming to the wedding” issue. All the parents were appreciative of my efforts and I got to spend “adult” time with my friends at my wedding (which was the most important thing).
i’m with you. no kids at weddings. they make for cute pictures at the event, but too unpredictable. weddings are adult events. i LOVE kids. but not at my wedding.
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We’re not having kids at my wedding and it’s been a really touchy subject with the families mostly. But I’m sorry, it’s the one thing I want to be “Bridezilla” about. Most of the kids I know are not well behaved and the especially misbehaved ones are kids in both of our families. It’s not that big of a deal to hire a baby-sitter, shouldn’t parents get to have a nice dressed-up night out alone?
One thing we did have to determine was that we were going to have the blanket policy of no kids period. Selectively inviting a few would have been disasterous for us. It’s been hard and most of our guests will be out-of-towners coming in but it’s just not in the budget for me to have a kid’s area or to pay the FULL FOOD AND ALCOHOL FEES per head for kids too. I’m not willing to cut my adult friends out of the guest list, either! Some people are probably not going to come or make the trip because of it but it was a sacrifice that we were 100% prepared to make.
And it makes me want to pull my hair out because of the etiquette faux pas but our coordinator is forcing me to include on the RSVP cards that it will be an Adults Only Reception. Yet, she promised that at least one (VERY RUDE) person will put down extra numbers for their children in which case we will have to call them. Ug. I hope and pray I don’t be come “that mom” someday.
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I agree. And they don’t enjoy them, either. We are not putting the children’s names on the invitations. Period. There are flower girls + ring bearer, but that’s it. One word on this one: babysitter. We are also hiring teenagers to tend to children who might show up with parents who just don’t get it. Luckily, our list includes very few with young children. This has helped. The last wedding I attended had the addition of a screaming baby during the ceremony! I do not joke. Ridiculous!
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It just depends on the wedding you decide to have. I mean, if you are going to have an open bar and very fancy reception, then NO kids should be there b/c it’s not a suitable place for them to be. That’s your choice and if people want to complain then they don’t have to come!
But if you have a very close-knit family, where the nieces/nephews/cousins/ect. are a BIG part of your lives, wouldn’t you want to include them in your special day? I had ALL of my family members there b/c family is a big deal and I wanted all of them to be there for my day. (but at the same time, our wedding was very simple and the reception was just a big family reunion where we dressed all pretty and ate really good food! LOL!)
I do have to say the Hubs and I are guilty for bringing our kiddos to a handful of weddings these past few years and that was only because everyone we knew and trusted was going to be at the wedding. Nowadays, it’s hard to trust anyone with your kids! We are a military family, and at the time we were very far away from family and like I said everyone else we knew was going to be at the wedding. (we have since moved to the same town as my parents for the next 3 years…so we now have babysitters we know and trust with our lives…mainly b/c they gave me life! HAHA!) We did discuss it with our friends before we went just to make sure it was OK before coming and they said it was. (mainly b/c our kids are better behaved than most kids…probably b/c of the “Military” aspect of it. LOL, my kids know better than to be rude and that “NO means NO!”) And looking back at some of our friends wedding pictures, there were some precious pictures of our then-2-now-5 yr old daughter dancing with my hubby’s best friend (the groom) on the dance floor, or my then 7-now-10 yr old leading their conga line. LOL! Great memories.
Either way Ms Nina, its your wedding. Do what you want to do b/c you and Mr JH are the stars of the show.
I’m just a lady who sees both sides of the spectrum. (and very happily married to the love of her life for the past 11 years with three beautiful and well-behaved children!)
No Kids Please! While I love children, I just think they can be a huuuge distraction at weddings. We decided to allow no children at our wedding. While I caught a lot of heat from my mom and MIL, I am so happy i put my foot down. I wanted our guests to have a blast at our wedding (that’s why we had an open bar) and I thought those with children would actually have a better time if they left their kids at home with the baby sitter. That way they could let loose right alongside us without worry about what their child is getting into. The picture is hilarious by the way!
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We had kids at our wedding and they weren’t a problem.
My family was having to come from out-of-state and ended up making out wedding weekend into their family summer vacation, so their kids were an obvious inclusion.
We had two ring bearers and a flower girl, so they had to be there.
I spent many a summer with children, and a few of them were invited (w/their families).
There were children I wanted there and they were all well behaved, and in the end I’m glad I did it, but I understand where a lot of people are coming from not wanting kids there. I just think it’s such a hairy subject– especially if you have child attendants, because THAT really makes people angry, when you let in “those” kids, but not theirs.
But really, some people are just looking for an excuse to get worked up about a wedding, so why worry about it? Make the day what you want and if they don’t like it, they can forego the festivities and not bring you down.
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My mom and I have decided we will have someone guard the church door and sweetly remind them we have a babysitter for them
Its so rude to have young children cry out and ruin your wedding!!! I would only allow the flower girls/ring bearers to be allowed in!!!
I wanted my wedding to be a celebration for my entire family. That being said, every child was given a bag goodies- games, stickers, an etch-a-sketch, etc.- to keep them busy. We also had a candy buffet to occupy them, plus the wedding coordinators were given strict instructions: NO KIDS ON THE DANCE FLOOR. Our reception venue also opened onto a beautiful grassy lawn and it was a beautiful June night, so some of the older kids went outside to play.
We had absolutely no problems, even from problem children (and there were a few of those).
Allison´s last blog ..Wedding Details
No kids. We had our 2 flower girls and that was it. They walked down the aisle and then sat with their mom and dad instead of at the front of the church. At the reception, they ate and danced for about 10 minutes and then their parents took them to bed. (They were sisters)
They were the only kids invited to the wedding. The invitation left all of the kids’ names off the envelopes.
NO ONE said anything about their kids not being invited– it just wasn’t a big deal. Or at least I never heard that it was a big deal.
Love my child– I don’t love other people’s kids.
Erin @ Blue-Eyed Bride´s last blog ..the littlest gymnast!
I’m with you – no kids. Thankfully we only had one breastfeeding baby at the wedding (slept through the whole thing) so we didn’t have to deal with telling family and friends “no!” Especially for an evening wedding with adults and an open bar, it just isn’t appropriate.
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No children! Love the sign – am going to “borrow” that sentiment for sure!
Colleen´s last blog ..TV Art
We only had the kids at our wedding that we were close to. I was a nanny at the time and had the three kids I nannied and lived with in the wedding as well as our nephews and nieces. We didn’t have any other kids though.
Lauren´s last blog ..Shoes, shoes, shoes
I felt the same way, though my mother wouldn’t let me say “no children”. I did stand up for my right to not have children in my wedding. I don’t know what it is, but I’m just not a fan.
Nomers´s last blog ..Hurry up!
Honestly, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t have kids at weddings, I think it’s adorable! They usually lighten the mood
The wedding I have been to, and my own included, the children had a blast at! Maybe not take children to the actual ceremony, when they are to young, but def. to the reception I think most parents know when it’s time to take the kids home…Basically, any wedding invite I receive that has a no kids clause on it I won’t go to, I really think it’s a no-no etiquette wise. And yes, I do have kids and could get a babysitter (and have in the past) but it’s a matter of principle…you either want all of us at your wedding, or none of us
Just my two cents from a parent’s perspective
That is HILARIOUS!!!! I don’t like small children at wedding. I think upper elementary, tweens, teenagers are okay, but little ones…NO WAY!
SouthernBelleJM´s last blog ..It’s Ma BirThDAy:)
I went to a wedding in May that had NO children! Not even the nieces and nephews came to the ceremony or reception. They did stop by during the pre-reception cocktail hour to say hello and take a few photos, but that was it. It worked perfectly for the bride and groom and their families.
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I went with no kids at our wedding, but we provided an on-site nanny service for OOT family.
For some parents, they loved having a night to themselves.
Some other family pitched a fit and threatened not to come… to which I replied nicely “Okay, then don’t.”
I think it’s completely your choice because it’s your party that you are hosting. Just be ready to deal with any unhappy campers.
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