DAILY DIARY

24 Sep
2009

Kids At Weddings

posted by ninahelleny in DAILY DIARY
vinzant-deguire-005
Here's the thing, I'm not a fan. At all. I don't care who they are or how much I love them. I'm not a fan of kids at weddings - ceremony and/or receptions. Not to be misunderstood. I ADORE children, just not at weddings.

So, I'm sure you can imagine my reaction when I saw this picture on LUCKYME earlier this week. I literally chuckled out loud!


{photo credit}


Answer this for me --- Why wouldn't a husband & wife want a night out to drink & dance without their 3-year-old hanging from their leg???? Most likely the only thing the child will remember from the wedding is how uncomfortable they were in the ridiculously cute outfit their mother made them wear that day.

I know I'm not a mother but what's the harm in --- Hiring a babysitter. Going to the wedding. Having one (or five, or ten) too many drinks, dancing the night away with your spouse & waking up the next day never happier to have a hangover???

Sooooo, are you a kids-at-wedding kind of person or are you like me?

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  • http://aglimpseofthegirlnextdoor.blogspot.com Abbie

    For our wedding, we addressed out-of-town invites to “The Such-and-such family” as we knew it would be hard for some people with young kids to travel 1200 miles and not bring them. For all locals, we addressed the invites to the adults only. We also put a list of CPR-certified sitters on our wedding website. We had some close friends our age (including two groomsmen) who left their kids home with grandparents and made the trek with just their wifes… as a fun adult trip. They had a blast. Sure enough, we had some locals who added their kids on to the RSVP… including J’s boss who added his 15 year-old daughter on the RSVP and then wanted an add of his 24 year-old daughter and her boyfriend a week before the wedding (which we obliged… it WAS the owner of the company after all). I even had to go round-and-round with a bridesmaid who was telling people that they MUST bring their kids or it wouldn’t be fun and had them write kids in. What?! She didn’t get it… but then, she literally had 20 kids storm the dance floor during her first dance at her wedding and thought it was cute. Me, not-so-much. While I wasn’t willing to totally rule out kids, I had the same thoughts… why not enjoy a night out without the kids??
    .-= Abbie´s last blog ..Our Wedding: Getting Ready =-.

  • http://newbieny.blogspot.com/ Meghan

    I TOTALLY agree with you. I think a wedding is a great opportunity to get away from the kids and have a great time.
    One exception I have is with the flower girl/ring bearer… I’m torn about whether or not they should be invited to at least part of the reception.
    My brother was married last year and had my niece and nephew as his flower girl and ring bearer. Immediately after the ceremony they were sent off to the hotel… My niece was so upset! And i felt kind of conflicted about it because they are two of the most well behaved kids..I think it wouldve been great for them to at least get a couple dances in and then be sent off to the hotel so their parents could enjoy their evening.
    So I guess I agree with you, but I think it gets a little tricky when you involve kids in your ceremony.
    .-= Meghan´s last blog ..Ah! I’m so excited! =-.

  • http://peeptoepumpsandpearls.blogspot.com Jill

    I 100% agree with you about kids at weddings. It’s SO annoying. The sign on this post is priceless… I LOVE it. At my spray tan salon in Houston there was a sign in the waiting room that read, “Unattended children will be thrown out the back door and fed to cats.”
    .-= Jill´s last blog ..Is It Just Me??? =-.

  • http://www.practicallyperfectblog.com/ Practically Perfect…

    I’m not a kids-at-weddings kind of person, but we had a lot of out of town guests who couldn’t or didn’t feel comfortable enough to leave their kids at home while they flew or drove large distances away. So, I hired 3 babysitters (friends of friends) to stay in the church’s nursery and had ushers direct families with little ones there. The parents were given pagers so that they could be beeped out of the service if they were really needed. Our reception hall was next to the church, so the pagers were still effective after the service. Worked perfectly :-)
    .-= Practically Perfect…´s last blog ..Can You Believe that I Get to Live There?! =-.

  • http://www.pinkjulep.blogspot.com PinkJulep

    I think it depends on the kind of wedding it is. I have to be honest… the kids at my wedding, mostly tweens and teens, but anyway… they made it more fun than it already was and they got the oldies and goldies dancing! They were great!!! Fortunately the only person under the age of 11 was a newborn… so we didn’t have 5 year olds screaming, throwing food and running around with their dresses over their heads, or I might agree with you whole-heartedly!
    .-= PinkJulep´s last blog ..Have You Heard About Jukari Fit to Fly Workout? =-.

  • http://www.preppymama.blogspot.com Gina

    I am with you. not a fan at all, however my sister is getting married in two weeks and my almost 4 year old is in the wedding. We have lots of out of town family traveling in for the wedding and they want to see him as well. I did get my sil to sit for my 4 month old (there was no way he would be attending!!). Its a hard call to make. Yes, I certainly would love a night out with out my kids, but my sister is the bride and my family want him there too.
    .-= Gina´s last blog ..Publicly Shamed =-.

  • http://gettingtoknowmeg.blogspot.com megan

    completely agree! guests of the wedding receive invitations far enough in advance to hire a babysitter so there shouldn’t be any excuses about not having a place for the children. i’m not even a fan of children being in the wedding; most of the time, they can’t even fulfill the job of walking all the way down the aisle without running to their mother. just my preference.
    .-= megan´s last blog ..thursday shmursday =-.

  • http://www.securityville.blogspot.com Shorty

    I’m sure a lot of brides/grooms feel obligated to keep the kids around for the entire event since they ask a little kid to be the flower girl and ring bearer. But, I see nothing wrong with telling the parents of those children that once the wedding is over and the reception is beginning that the kiddos will need to have an alternative locale to hang out. My sister is actually considering having a babysitter in another room outside of the reception for the kids to go since the people she is asking to let their children be in the wedding will have to travel quite a distance to get there. We’ll see how it all works out…
    .-= Shorty´s last blog ..So many things! =-.

  • http://www.monogramchick.blogspot.com Sarah

    100% agreed. Let mom and dad have a night out and the bride and groom have their day. No kids either but a huge fan of the babysitter! :)
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..2 By 2 We Will Go =-.

  • http://www.crazycats84.blogspot.com MeganTree

    A child talked all the way through my wedding. She was not taken out of the ceremony and my grandma who was sitting in front of her could not hear a thing, except for this child’s voice through most of the ceremony. A year later I am still bitter. Kids should not be at weddings!
    .-= MeganTree´s last blog ..Thursday Thoughts =-.

  • http://whineoverwine.blogspot.com jessica

    Not so much…we had friends who allowed kids and one signed the matted picture at the reception in his 3rd grade cursive and signed the WRONG grooms name. What a keepsake..

  • http://www.hanginwiththebradfords.blogspot.com roxanne

    That sign = HILAR.

    my opinion on the issue? basically… i wouldnt have cared THAT much if there had been a crying baby at my wedding, bc i guarantee that when the baby started crying…momma would have ventured out of the church. howev- i prob wouldn’t have even NOTICED bc i was so engrossed in the moment :) that being said, i didnt have flower girls or ringbearers….but only bc i couldnt decide betw ALL of the youngsters in our families!

    as far as other ppl’s weddings go… i say do what you want and who cares what your guests think! it’s YOUR day….make it go the way YOU want it to go. no one should judge you on your wedding day…just remember not to judge any OTHER bride on HER wedding day!!

    k…the end. :)
    .-= roxanne´s last blog ..Massage School? =-.

  • http://sweetsimplicityblog.com Sweet Simplicity

    I love this sign! It is so perfect and funny!
    .-= Sweet Simplicity´s last blog ..Q&A =-.

  • http://akincarroll.blogspot.com Erin @ Blue-Eyed Bride

    No kids at weddings– unless they’re IN the wedding. We had to bell ringers and they were precious. We had the reception at the hotel where we all stayed. The girls came for the first dance and stuff and then went up to bed and were gone by 8:00. They were precious in the ceremony and I loved it.

    But we intentionally left children’s names off of our invitations and they weren’t invited.
    .-= Erin @ Blue-Eyed Bride´s last blog ..a birthday!!! =-.

  • http://akincarroll.blogspot.com Erin @ Blue-Eyed Bride

    No kids at weddings– unless they’re IN the wedding. We had to bell ringers and they were precious. We had the reception at the hotel where we all stayed. The girls came for the first dance and stuff and then went up to bed and were gone by 8:00. They were precious in the ceremony and I loved it.

    But we intentionally left children’s names off of our invitations and they weren’t invited.
    .-= Erin @ Blue-Eyed Bride´s last blog ..a birthday!!! =-.

  • http://www.NewlywedsNextDoor.com Newlyweds Next Door

    Ugh, I could not agree with you MORE. It always blows my mind when people are offended that their kids are not invited to a wedding. It’s like, “just enjoy a night out drinking and dancing for ONE stinkin’ night.”

    Now that I know the cost of a wedding per person, it makes me sick to think of how many wedding I went to as a child and didn’t appreciate them at all.
    .-= Newlyweds Next Door´s last blog ..Family & Football this weekend! =-.

  • http://wwwNewlywedsNextDoor.com Newlyweds Next Door

    Ugh, I could not agree with you MORE. It always blows my mind when people are offended that their kids are not invited to a wedding. It’s like, “just enjoy a night out drinking and dancing for ONE stinkin’ night.”

    Now that I know the cost of a wedding per person, it makes me sick to think of how many wedding I went to as a child and didn’t appreciate them at all.

  • http://boomeranglady.blogspot.com/ Laura Eastes

    I am with you Nina.

    I went to a wedding last week in Chicago and sat in the middle of the church. A family came in with 3 kids under 6 and sat towards the back. 2 of the kids started fussing right before the ceremony began. At first the Mom was telling them to be quiet and to calm down. But they didn’t. The ceremony began and the kids continued. They were so bad and the parents didn’t take the kids out of the ceremony. I thought it was so incredible rude and disrespectful. Kids not good at weddings unless they are 10 and older.
    .-= Laura Eastes´s last blog ..And I Can’t Get "Sequin Shoes" Out of My Mind =-.

  • Emily

    We’ve NEVER taken our son to a wedding ceremony. However, we have taken him to ONE reception at the insistence of the bride & groom, whose son is our son’s best friend.
    We have had to miss weddings before (at our own choice) due to not having a sitter, which is hard to find when the wedding is in a city / state where you don’t know anyone.

  • http://littlebabyaddison.blogspot.com Jen

    Nina…I SO agree with you! We had an adults only wedding too. My brother is getting married in November and they are having Addie be a flower girl so she will be at the ceremony. HOWEVER, she will be going home with my in-laws after the pictures because I firmly believe that toddlers and receptions don’t mix (although…it took me having a toddler to finally realize this. Ha!)
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Strike Three…I’m Out! =-.

  • Steph

    I understand both sides for sure, and don’t think I would ever bring my kids to a friend’s wedding (hypothetical kids :) . I don’t mind if there are kids at mine, but I’m also a teacher, so that changes things a bit!

    Great post/ discussion Nina!

  • http://www.modernmaven.blogspot.com Nicole

    I agree with YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    .-= Nicole´s last blog ..The Best Motivational Video Ever =-.

  • http://missesmisadventures.blogspot.com Miss E

    So funny that you mention this. I did not invite kids to my wedding. My best friend’s little sister was young at the time (10 yrs old) and was not invited, although her oldest sister was my MOH and her parents were invited. I don’t think she’ll ever let me live it down that I didn’t have her there. But I just didn’t want kids. I completely understand what you mean.

    Great post!
    .-= Miss E´s last blog ..The Journey =-.

  • http://thecaddens.blogspot.com/ Mrs. Guru

    I do not really have a side to this question. I think there are pros and cons. But what a great topic.
    .-= Mrs. Guru´s last blog ..Caramel Apple Pops =-.

  • http://jeansfriday.blogspot.com jenn

    this post almost EXACTLY coincides with the post i wrote today – too funny.

    and i’m totally with you on the kids at weddings. never ever. we didn’t have any at ours, and the evening was enjoyable. instead of the 3 year old taking over the dance floor – our guests could actually enjoy themselves :)
    .-= jenn´s last blog ..Get your tomatoes ready… =-.

  • http://www.alwaysanortherner.com Jackie

    We did not allow kids at our reception and I think it was the best decision ever. Everyone had a blast and I don’t think that would have happened with a bunch of tots running around. We did hear a lot of growns at first, but in the end those people either didn’t come or came and were glad they got a night out.

  • http://thehappydash.blogspot.com The Happy Dash

    I’m going to disagree here, simply because I wanted kids at my wedding. I will say, we didn’t have any babies (or toddlers for that matter), but I have several kids that are an important part of my life – they all were there. They were well behaved during the ceremony, then we all danced, ate, had cake – then they went home with sitters. Their parents’ stayed and enjoyed themselves. The pictures I have with the kids on my wedding day are priceless and I couldn’t imagine my wedding day without them. However, I do agree that if you want it to be child-free, then parent’s should honor that.
    .-= The Happy Dash´s last blog .. =-.

  • http://www.accordingtoerin.com Erin

    I completely agree with you.

    Weddings are NOT a place for children.

    -E
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..Fashion Frustration =-.

  • http://southernandpreppy.blogspot.com Preppy 101

    And it never fails – the child is screaming and crying during the ceremony – all of which will be caught on the video. Such a shame. I have seen it more times than I care to think about. PD’s invitations that are going to couples with small children will have an insert card that states “Childcare will be provided for children 4 and under”. We are still not sure if it’s 4 and under or 3 and under, but it will be provided. So basically if they don’t want to use it, don’t bring your child. Definitely not the place for toddlers.

    And I love children dearly, but . . .
    .-= Preppy 101´s last blog ..Daughter Time in Rainy Atlanta =-.

  • Dee

    AMEN! I only wanted the flower girl and ring bearer at my wedding and I ended up getting so much grief from one set of friends that I allowed their daughter to attend. She threw a tantrum when she couldn’t sit in my seat at the head table, knocked over one of my older aunts and laughed, broke a glass, should I go on? Her parents laughed and half heartedly corrected her behavior and when she ignored them they laughed.

    OYE VEY!

  • http://www.alittleofthisthat-dm.blogspot.com BEA

    I am totally with you! We tried as hard as possible to keep kids from our wedding-I hate when they’re all out on the dance floor. My Aunt even hired a sitter for her kids (who were in our wedding) for the reception. They had so much more fun watching movies and swimming than sitting with adults all night!
    .-= BEA´s last blog ..It’s a Dog’s Life =-.

  • cestyeuxbruns

    I had my wedding and only allowed guests under the age of 13 as a peace-keeping tactic. I could have done without any kids. But in all honesty, I did NOT want to hear a child utter a single PEEP during my church ceremony. I did not want to hear a single cry, a single child’s voice, anything child-related during my wedding. Because people attend to children. I’m sorry if it sounds selfish, but your wedding should be SOLELY about you and no one should have their attention diverted by a child doing anything annoying or cute. I dislike children at weddings in general and am SO SO happy that I did not have any kids at my wedding. So happy with that decision. I am so glad that my friends and family members who are parents were on that dance floor, drink in hand (some of us double-fisting!), and dancing until midnight!

  • http://www.jenniferblack6305.blogspot.com Jennifer

    I agree! But some people are so weird about getting sitters. I don’t get it, but they just think their child is the most adorable kid in the world and that everyone wants to see them.
    .-= Jennifer´s last blog ..TV Shows I Want to Watch But Don’t Have Time! =-.

  • http://www.laurenslaughinglife.blogspot.com Lauren A.

    Completely agree with you! Having a destination wedding really cleared this one up- who would have WANTED to have their kiddos along for that type of week long party?
    .-= Lauren A.´s last blog ..Sometimes, Right Back Where You Started From is Right Where You Belong =-.

  • http://it-is-everlasting.blogspot.com Maggie

    We didn’t have a ring bearer or flower girl and only our cousins were allowed to bring their children. With families where the oldest is 17 and the youngest is 8 it was too hard to make a “cut off.” Several friends asked about bringing kiddos and we very firmly said “no.” The only exception made was for 2 friends who were still breastfeeding and the babies were so little it didn’t matter that they were there. I don’t think a wedding reception is any place for children… would you bring your child to a dinner party? A bar? Out dancing? Why is a wedding any different?
    .-= Maggie´s last blog ..Some people eat their feelings… I shop. =-.

  • http://ethidiumbromide.blogspot.com Disgruntled Julie

    I do not like children at weddings, at all. We had two at our wedding — 9 year old twins — who are absolutely wonderful. My mother made little activity bags for them and they hung out and colored and played travel games while their parents danced (and the two of them even spent quite a lot of time on the dance floor earlier in the evening!) but they are also pros at weddings; they have been flower girls 8 times. I imagine quite a lot of children would not be as well behaved; I know when I personally have children someday, I won’t want to bring them along — hello, perfect date night!

    Also, we have the espresso and free puppy sign hanging outside our laboratory. :)
    .-= Disgruntled Julie´s last blog ..Blackberry Buttermilk Cake =-.

  • http://www.prettyinpinkmegan.com Megan

    I made it clear to everyone that I didn’t want any small children at my wedding. I did have relatives that brought their 9, 10, and 12 yr old children, but that was okay with me. I just didn’t want any whining babies (with the exception of R’s sister who had just had a baby a couple of weeks before- she brought a nanny to the wedding which was nice bc she stayed in the “Getting ready” room with the baby most of the time).
    .-= Megan´s last blog ..Thankful Thursday =-.

  • http://lilacsandavocados.blogspot.com/ Rachel

    I agree. The only children at my wedding were my 3 nieces who were flower girls. No others were allowed. We had a lot of cousins and family friends who were middle school/high school age, but they had a blast and were all very mature.
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..American Girls =-.

  • http://fabulousinthestl.blogspot.com Heidi

    OH no, I do not think it’s appropriate for a child to be at wedding festivities. I have a darling 18mo. old and I have no problems letting Nanny take him while we go to a wedding.
    That was the rule at our wedding and I will follow the rules for any wedding that I’m invited too.
    It’s only proper…
    .-= Heidi´s last blog ..No I’m not dead, I’ve just been busy! =-.

  • PreppyBumpkin

    Agree completely! Not even a big fan of having kids *in* the wedding.

  • http://zentmrs.blogspot.com Susan

    We had my step kids in the wedding (6 and 2 at the time) so didn’t feel like we could tell other family members not to bring kids. We hired two sitters for all of the children and had a separate kids’ table as well as a separate kids’ room, with toys and DVDs etc. That seemed like the best of both worlds for us.
    .-= Susan´s last blog ..The Joys of Home Ownership? =-.

  • Andrea (Edwards) Jones

    Hey Nina~ Love your blog!! And I do agree with you on this, however sometimes I don’t have a choice and do have to bring my kids with me..I don’t always have a babysitter and I don’t just leave my kids with anybody..so that may be a reason people do bring their kids with them..trust me would I love to have a night with hubby all to myself? i would love too..but that doesn’t always seem to work that way!!

  • http://lavitabella0903.wordpress.com Adrienne

    I think it depends on the situation. I’ve been to both types of weddings (kids vs. no-kids) and both were fun. However, when there are children present it can take away from the day and I think most parents who attend weddings with young children feel they have to constantly monitor them and can’t fully engage in having a great evening. On that note, if an invitation specifically says no children people need to honor that.
    .-= Adrienne´s last blog ..Shop It to Me Tuesday-Fall has arrived! =-.

  • http://savannahsouthernbelle.blogspot.com Jennifer

    I am planning my wedding right now. I am not having an “Adults Only” wedding because I don’t want to outlaw people who want to bring their kids. However, I am in complete agreement with you. I don’t care if they have their 3 year old on their leg the whole night, that is on them. But why? I mean, a wedding is an adult thing and why not have a great time with your spouse there and let the kid have a great time with a babysitter eatting pizza and playing videogames.
    .-= Jennifer´s last blog ..My Week =-.

  • mona

    I’m with you on this one Nina.

  • http://www.prettybride.net Christina

    could not agree more… i’m not a fan. i wanted zero kids at our wedding but we had so much family coming in from out of town that i ended up saying “family children only” and had about 7 or 8 kids there. i actually wanted to get a babysitter for these kids to watch them at my parent’s house, but my mom thought i should keep the peace and let them attend. i’m sure i offended some friends who had kids that weren’t invited. wedding’s are adult events if you ask me… end of story…
    .-= Christina´s last blog ..Recaps: First Dance =-.